Toads and Rats
by EM Vought
Summary: The Marauders in a Charms Lesson. Can anything turn out right when they're involved?


James was poking the toad that Professor Crisel had put on his desk. The thing had rolled over on its back displaying its lighter colored underside. He was about to tell her that he needed a new toad when it suddenly spit a stream of water into his face. He was not happy mopping his face with his robes when he realized that wasn't water. Oh, he hated this toad. It was now looking all smug sitting right side up now and croaking low in his throat like a purr. And Sirius sitting next to him cackling was no help at all.

"Now, everyone have a toad? Wonderful, today we are working on the substantive charm." There were a lot of groans. "I know it's not the funnest charm in the world, but you have to know it. Now, what does a substantive charm do?"

"A substantive charm produces two creatures with separate and independent existence." They said more or less in unison.

"Good, now remember this spell can only be used on creatures, not inanimate objects, and never on humans. Most wizards and witches couldn't perform this charm on humans even if so inclined, a very powerful one could, but it is against the law. Now, this charm produced a creature the same in every way physically, but mentally they two distinct creatures. If it was done on a human it would produce a "twin", but they are not a doppelganger, they would be their own distinct person, with their own personality complete and individual from the first. Now, these toads are extremely important."

"What's so fascinating about a toad?" Sirius asked under breath.

Professor Crisel turned her black eyes on him. "What is so fascinating, Mr. Black, is that these toads are have been slowly declining. We are hoping that we can boost their numbers before returning them to the Forbidden Forest."

James felt a little guilty hating the toad now until he noticed his desk had a puddle forming on it. "Professor?" He raised his hand. "Is it normal for these toads to urinate over everything?"

"What?" She asked coming over. "Oh, I see, this is Brutus. He's the alpha male. He must see you as a competitor."

James frowned before trying to clean up his desk. "If we create two of him isn't that more competition?"

"This alpha male will be with a separate group of the new toads so we can study them and their habits with two distinct groups, now, as a reminder that charm is 'substantia', Sub-STAN-tzia. Please practice for a few moments without your wands and then try with your wands, only do it if you're sure that you can say the word correctly, we don't want any accidents." She looked right at Sirius as she said this.

"We're 16 you'd think she'd trust us by now." Sirius whispered to James.

"Or she knows us too well to trust us."

"That too…" Sirius said suddenly contemplative. What did she know? He looked at the teacher a little suspiciously.

"Sirius, to your work, please," she said noticing him watching her. Sirius always was a peculiar boy. Her attention was drawn away by a bunch of sparks from another desk. "Oh! Look everyone! Miss Evans has done it!"

"Of course she has," James said grumbling a little. He loved the girl, but she was just too much of a know-it-all sometimes. His toad was just croaking low in his throat still and urinated on his desk again. James sighed. This was going to be a long class.

"You know," Sirius said. "We could use this spell on Moony. Maybe the new one won't be so stodgy." Remus scowled from where he was sitting in front of them with Peter. He was about to say something when, "Oy!" Sirius exclaimed. "Flower's got at least four toads on her desk now! That's not bloody fair. Must be females."

"How can you tell?" Peter asked.

"Cuz they're all ignoring all the others with their noses in the air."

"Oh, right," Peter said nodding eagerly. He could see that now. Girls did that, he nodded to himself, they all did that around him. His eyes went over Lily. She was beautiful. She was really kind to, he knew if James wasn't in the way she'd certainly love him. He was sure of it.

"Peter! Watch what you're doing!" Remus cried out snapping Peter from his daydreams. He turned back to see sparks flying out of his own wand…but they weren't the cheerful blue ones that had come from Lily's, no these were brown and as soon as they touched the desk they formed globs of a thick oozing substance. All at once the toads in the classroom all tried to get to Peter as fast as they could. Remus threw his aching body out of the way as the toads converged. Peter was lost under all of them quickly, his screams cut short with how many were on top of him.

"Oh really!" Crisel said looking put out. "Peter Pettigrew! I told you it was 'substantia' not 'sub-staunch-YA'." She sighed. "Everyone take a toad, if they're…in a delicate position try to get all of them. Yes, Peter! It should only take a few minutes! You're fine, I assure you! It's not the best position to be in, but the toads won't hurt you! Really," she sighed again. The students looked at each other before they helped get the toads off of Peter.

"Professor?" Lily asked. "What was that stuff coming out of Peter's wand?"

"It's a type of mud that these toads love, it's very rare, and the only thing these toads with mate in. So when they smell it, it makes them a little crazy. That particular spell that Peter did creates substances and the substance is controlled by environment, not the wizard producing the spell, it is very uncontrollable, which is why I wanted you to make sure you said the charm correctly. This is precisely what I did not want to happen or any other accidents. This is a mistake an OWL student might make, not a NEWT student."

She wasn't too happy, then again neither was Peter when he finally got out from underneath the frogs. He was covered in mud. Most of the floor and desk were too. Remus, Sirius, and James took Peter to get cleaned up. "The bad part is, this isn't even in the top ten of mistakes we've made in Charms class." James said laughing.


End file.
